Soccer Shenanigans Gifts

...and the mighty sport of Kung Football was born.

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Mum, I got the job!"

The Frankenstein snowman.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'ok, who threw that?'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

Like / Whatever

"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

'Are you crazy? -- up here, water balloons are lethal!'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

Football

Football ground toilets include one for mascots.

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'Hot! Hot!'

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Sure, we have an excuse. The school bus backed into the Principals car.'

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

'I sent Higgins on a wild goose chase so we could get some work done.'

Boy shouting at and frightening an old lady

'I warned you not to keep on calling him 'Fatty Christmas'!'

"Stealing office supplies, eh? I'm in for murder one!"

"Every time I got frustrated with my computer, I would slam on the keyboard. This time the keyboard fought back."