Soccer Seer Pillows

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"I'll be right back."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

A self-filling prophecy.

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"What a midfield wizard!"

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017

"You'll meet a handsome young man who will marry your best friend."

Tittle and tattle.

"We might need that ball, boy!"

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

'Nostradamus enjoyed singing in the tub'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

"I'd like to be tried by a Jury of my Seers."

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

Welcome To The Psychic Convention.

'Are you going to bowl or are you going to peek into the future?'

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'