Seer Aficionado Pillows

'Any jobs out there in the, you know, nether regions?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

My other cello is a Stradivari

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

Older and wiser

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

A self-filling prophecy.

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"Who's there?"

"I'll be right back."

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)

'Of course we cross Martin Luther off our Christmas card list!'

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017

"You'll meet a handsome young man who will marry your best friend."

"I've got a bad feeling about this Kenneth.'

Flying Ear Specialist

"I'd like to be tried by a Jury of my Seers."