Seer Enthusiast Pillows

'Fortune cookies aren't fun for me. I always know my fortune in advance.'

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

"Looks like we stick with the blue-chips, and your dead Uncle Frank says hello."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Artist and Musician

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

Before Cordless Light Sabers

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Spy Satellite

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

Sheepdog Security

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Super-ego Surveillance

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

The Gong

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"It's not icky - it's tactile."

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Big Medium

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

A self-filling prophecy.

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"I'll be right back."