Spectacle Seer Pillows

'I've lost my glasses and can't look for them until I find them.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

Chess on TV

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Matador.

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"I'll be right back."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"Who's there?"

A self-filling prophecy.

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Big circus elephant balancing on one foot

Tittle and tattle.

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"