Soccer Season Ticket Holder Gifts

A typical Newcastle fan.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Egyptian Football

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Spot the fur ball.

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Snowman Football Fan.

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Stop with racism in sport!

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

Hands in same position from birth to death.

'Sorry, but my dad would make a useless soccer coach: His only ball skil is 'fetch'...'

Goal

Theater or football.

Referee cop.

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

The game comes first...

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

"Jim was a model Dad".