Soccer Season Ticket Holder Pillows

A typical Newcastle fan.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Raheem Sterling

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Mohamed Salah

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Egyptian Football

World Cup Fever

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Snowman Football Fan.

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Spot the fur ball.

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Stop with racism in sport!

Baby Footballer

Referee cop.

"Jim was a model Dad".

Theater or football.

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Goal

'Sorry, but my dad would make a useless soccer coach: His only ball skil is 'fetch'...'