Soccer Saturday Fan Gifts

Football Countdown.

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Raheem Sterling

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Egyptian Football

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

Watching the football.

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Men can show their emotions!

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

Football