Social Soccer Fan Gifts

'Kick it to me! Kick it to me!'

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Football

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"