Social Soccer Fan Gifts

'Kick it to me! Kick it to me!'

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

The trauma of losing.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Raheem Sterling

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Football

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Kenny Dalglish

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"