Soccer Gadgeteer Gifts

'Frank Lampard's brought his own touch-line technology with him this time.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Hiding the electronics.

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'

I can record our game. Big deal. Mine can get everyone's stats plus find sales on bats and gloves. Wow! It does everything! Teddy! Except catch the ball. Isn't there an app for that?

Deregulated Baseball

"A three letter word. . . all powerful colloquially known as 'the man upstairs'."

Planet Of The Apps.

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

A man shoots at a drone.

Dexter Miller developed the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough, but... (golf ball in pain)

"I am fully functional again!"

'The new technology allows us to monitor all the players performance levels like heart rate, acting ability, etc.'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'I think putting a better team together might work, too.'

Football merchandise - Replica bungs

Ghoul Keeper

Football Applause

'Pacifiers away please, I'd like to start the meeting,' says the chairman.

'If it makes you feel any better, when I was your age, bullies used to put a 'Kick Me' sign on my back, too.'

'Data on distance, ball velocity in conjunction with wind strength being assessed...'

'Well, the internal swing mechanism is shot. I can fix it, but it won't be cheap. If I were you, I'd just go back to the dugout and choose another bat.'

Football Computer.

There goes my climbing tree stand climbing stand climbing without me again.

Harry Redknapp

Golfer using a machine to hit the golfball

'A remote controlled golf ball! Yes, of course!'

Bad with directions? Easily confused? Just plain ignorant? Get the amazing new Basepath Navigation and never get lost again!

Decapitation on the football pitch.

"Cool social network profile, man! You love to hang around doing nothing, eh?"

'You reached me at a bad time. My voice mail is being repaired so I wasn't able to screen my calls.'

Arturo Vidal

A copy of the report was sent to The Referees' Association.