Soap Sleuth T-Shirts

'Is that true? - Did you tape over her soap opera?'

"I think I know what happened to that missing bar of soap, Gerald."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

$1: Family Secrets

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

JET (Part I)

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

Those missing socks...where do they go?

Panama Papers Scandal

Cronyism Guide

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

"This is not good at all!"

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Raid the law offices of Michael D. Cohen

'Keep a lid on it!'

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Panama Papers

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

'That damn racial scandal.'