Snowman Comedy Club Gifts

Snow baby

Zombie standup

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Hot Tub Frosty

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"Would you like to try them out?"

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

Bob Odenkirk

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

"It's not you. It's pea."

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"Stand-up comedy." "On-your-knees-with-gas-pain comedy." "Please, God, make it stop..."

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

Freddy Starr died here.

Monet At Open Mic Night

"I want to report a race crime.'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

'No wonder you're backed up.The box says 'ear', not 'rear!'

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'