Snowman Comedy Club Gifts

Snow baby

Zombie standup

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

Hot Tub Frosty

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"Would you like to try them out?"

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

Monet At Open Mic Night

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

Freddy Starr died here.

"Stand-up comedy." "On-your-knees-with-gas-pain comedy." "Please, God, make it stop..."

"I want to report a race crime.'

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

"It's not you. It's pea."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"You gotta multiply dog years by seven, pal."