Snore Whisperer Gifts

Solving the Snoring Problem

"I snore says my wife!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"I'm a monster."

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

"Now do you believe me that your snoring wakes up the whole neighborhood?"

Don't have nightmares!

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

War Snail

"Your shell or mine?"

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

'Mrs.Neal, we did everything we could: anglopasty, laser surgery, replaced a valve, put in a shunt. . . Your husband still snores like a musk ox.'

'How would you like to try sleeping, when somebody's lying next to you snoring for six months?'

"Good night!"

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

"...And would madam like the snail porridge?"

'Wake up honey, you're roaring again.'

Nature Magnified

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

FBI Agents Discuss Grilling Techniques

"Sometimes Gramps can make the whole house shake!"

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

"Please make it snow tonight. Karen Garvin wants me to be her valentine."

"Well, I want to talk."

"But I'm not even tir..."

'Honey, you're talking in your sleep again!'

"It's good I'm on the property ladder but with hindsight I regret buying a semi detached."

"It's true escargot will add calories to the meal, but very slowly."