Sneeze Whisperer Gifts

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"I'm a monster."

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

"He takes after your mother"

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

Don't have nightmares!

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Ah-Choo!

"Pardon me, Karen. Would you be filling the bird feeder soon? Asking for a friend..."

DOG PARK - 'I can't believe they allow squirrels in here!'

Another episode of History Revealed!

War Snail

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"Your shell or mine?"

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

"Gesundheit!"