Sneeze Whisperer T-Shirts

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"I'm a monster."

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

"He takes after your mother"

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

Don't have nightmares!

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Ah-Choo!

"Pardon me, Karen. Would you be filling the bird feeder soon? Asking for a friend..."

DOG PARK - 'I can't believe they allow squirrels in here!'

Another episode of History Revealed!

War Snail

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"Your shell or mine?"

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

"Gesundheit!"