Sneeze Whisperer T-Shirts

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"I'm a monster."

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"He takes after your mother"

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

Don't have nightmares!

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

Ah-Choo!

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

DOG PARK - 'I can't believe they allow squirrels in here!'

Another episode of History Revealed!

"Your shell or mine?"

"Pardon me, Karen. Would you be filling the bird feeder soon? Asking for a friend..."

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

War Snail

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

"Gesundheit!"

"Good night!"