Sleep Whisperer T-Shirts

'Honey you're roaring.'

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

Don't have nightmares!

'Wake up honey, you're roaring again.'

'I'm reading the story. Dr. Dingle is making water sounds. Why don't you go to sleep before someone screams?'

'Honey, you're talking in your sleep again!'

"Hello?"

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

"But I'm not even tir..."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Alarmistclock

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"...went to sleep. And then Mr. Donkey became very quiet and drowsy and he went to sleep. And then Miss Mouse became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then Mrs. Bear became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then..."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

'You were Tolkien in your sleep again...'

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

"Come and get me, coppers!"

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

FBI Agents Discuss Grilling Techniques

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

"Good night!"

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

'This 'once-upon-a-time...' Was it yesterday, this morning, a hundred years ago, or what?'

My signature move is barbecuing on the grill outside my house and setting off the smoke alarm inside.

A pink cloud hovers above a sleeping man

"Please make it snow tonight. Karen Garvin wants me to be her valentine."

"He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel... Now he's just got 436 that come before it to write!"

'I'd like to return this sweater I knitted.'

Sock puppet down!: 'A hand! I need a hand!'

Nethead strip: Avoided