Snore-noise Enthusiast Pillows

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

Library Grand Opening

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"Do you have one that has a snooze button?"

Playing dustbins

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

Power Nap, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

Communication

'That was a great meeting. No one woke up until it was over.'

A cat draws a picture of a sleeping man