Snore Connoisseur Pillows

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"Do you have one that has a snooze button?"

Power Nap, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Eventual Motion Machine

A cat draws a picture of a sleeping man

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

'That was a great meeting. No one woke up until it was over.'

'Wakey-Wakey... Rise and shine!'

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'Don't disturb your father when he's in stand-by mode.'

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

Sleeping husband

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

"Hey, how was the movie you watched last night with your dad?"

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

I even love the way you snore...

Cat taking it easy after spending the previous 23 hours sleeping.

'You're snoring in cadence.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

Zzzzzzzzz...