Snore Conqueror Pillows

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

Man Sleeping - YYYWAITFORIT

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Yoga To-Do

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

'zzz sleep.'

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

Cleaner being carried away on a magic carpet.

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

Missing Sock

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

'Oh no, it's that 'come hither and do the dishes' look.'

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"It's worth a try! Maybe someone up there knows how to fold a fitted bedsheet!"

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

To do list

"It says, 'Machine wash with, like, color,' but it doesn't say, like what kind of colors."

"We'll never have to fold fitted sheets again."

Wife taking a photo of her husband and their shoveled walk-way

"Marie has been planning for my retirement for years."