Sniffle Survivor Pillows

The sound of mucus.

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"Looks like someone found a warm spot."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

Pollution.

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

"This cozy area between the smog and the sea is quite livable."

Air Bill

Environmental danger.

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

Canadian wildfires

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

Factory Smoke

"I had to get the glass in my front window replaced. I've never known anyone with a more powerful sneeze than my dad!"

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'My elbow has a cold!'

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

The Store That's All Closed-Up

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

'No giving-up smoking in the workplace.'

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

Myopic man reading 'Optician' sign.

Sorry! No water.

Cold

'And the quality of your merchandise has really gone downhill.'

Felicity wishes upon the smog.