Sneaky Storytellers Pillows

"Dad, this is not the one that was here earlier. He left at half past eleven."

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

Stephen King

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

"I cased the joint, and it turns out they'll just give you money if you work thirty-five hours a week as a teller."

'... And here's one I made earlier.'

Anna Burns

"I think the lines down!"

'You're a fiend, you are, Hardcastle.'

"It'h thnowing. . .me no like thnow in thpring. . . "

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

Watch out for that kid - he has an itchy booger finger.

Bird Watchers Club of America.

"I think my main strength is my imagination, which I think you can see from my CV."

Your parents created a talking gerbil to save their marriage? That's the gist of it. And it didn't work. They found that a talking gerbil can't help people overcome their real differences. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. If only I'd been a better rodent. Oh, how I used to talk back. Too weird. Still like me?

"I'm the Chupacabra, your new family bogeyman! I'm here to scare you into doing what your dad tells you to do!"

Power theft on mobile phones

A burglar pretends to be a shop mannequin.

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

My Life as a Troll

'This is the old Peterson place. Rumor has it the Mrs carved her husband up, made a pie from his innards, and then shoved a lit candle in his hollowed out carcass.'

'My love life? Well, when a policeman gave me a ticket through the open car window, he touched my shoulder. Does that count?'

"Cedric! You're 763 years old...How can you still be so immature?"

Servant girl making an excuse to go out and see a soldier

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

Animal Book Club

'Why do you knock them back so quickly?' - 'I had one stolen once.'

'...then he asked me to drive down the road with the mobile to give him phone sex.'

'He's not asleep, he's taking a sly look at the racing results.'

'I thought you went to school.'