Sneaky Storyteller Pillows

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Tim Burton

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Born of the Dead

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Halloween sculptor

Tupperware Wolf

Monster Realtor

Creepy Camp Stories.

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Trick or treat?"

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

'This time, put it someplace where we can find it.'

In Disguise.