Sneaky Humorist Pillows

Bird Watchers Club of America.

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'This time, put it someplace where we can find it.'

In Disguise.

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

'It's the simple things.'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

Vampire Family Photos...

Furtive Milking

Stealth grazing.

'By the time they realize what's up bear season will be over.'

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'You need to start using a fabric softener.'

Healthy Witch Digest

Street trader tricking police.

"No. I can still see you."