Sneaky Situation Fan Pillows

'I really wish you wouldn't call me at work, darling!'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Private detective looking very conspicuous while the suspect is saying 'He hasn't really got the hang of discreet surveillance, has he?'

"It's not what you think."

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

"Never seen a cow before?"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

Shy Man at Party

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"That's not what you told my screener you wanted to talk about."

"I can’t chase you today … he’s in one of his moods."

'I heard your licence was revoked.'

Crab stealing fisherman's bait.

'Aah! I've caught you Dobson - making love to my wife during working hours!'

"I'm going to demonstrate how dogs are stealth ninjas in the dark. See how I move silently....."

Blind dog.

Ostriches

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

A burglar pretends to be a shop mannequin.

Detective Honky

"That's the last time I let you drive."

Monster in shape of letter C.

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

Hippo on helipad.

The worst part about the end of a ninja convention is all the smoke bombs.

'There's a trampoline training hall on the floor below us...'

STRIP Queue of robbers at a bank

'Poor Danny - every sheep shearing season he got in trouble!'

"Ooh, I need a drink. I wish I didn't have to hide it...but I don't want the family making fun of me. Mmm...that hits the spot."