Sneaker Head Pillows

'Yes, but it was a glass ballet flat that I lost.'

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Wait, I'll go down with you. I'm just changing back into my rubber-soled actionwear."

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'The meaning of life is to get a nice sneaker contract.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

Casting out the Shoe Devil.

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Got to have a pair of those!"

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

'You have a very advanced case of athlete's foot.'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

"Wingtips--this is a white collar gang."

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

Blogging Shoes

Extreme Makeover: Old Woman Who Lives in a Basketball Shoe Edition.

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'