Snake Whisperers Gifts

'Up until now, I was a dedicated environmentalist.'

The last minutes of Abu Prishniad, amateur snake charmer.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Children's Parties

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

"Quick, start the car!"

Dog Dreams

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'Your shoe's untied.'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'You know too much!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"That is an outrageous slur."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"This never happened."

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"