Snake Whisperer Wannabe Gifts

Obedience School.

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

Local Knowledge

Bite out of fishing pier.

'You lifted your head.'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

Ice fisher.

"River well stocked this year."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

Man fishing with large bait

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Turtle Hat

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Reverse psychology

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

"Where are you going? I said we need to talk."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"I think it loves us."

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

Fish want out of polluted river.

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

Dream On: Fish jumping into boat, whilst fisherman says 'Golly, guys! Can't you wait until I get my tackle box open?'