Shark Whisperer Gifts

'Lunchtime, boys!'

'You've got 30 seconds to swim over here and gently remove this hook.'

"You were right honey, by not going into the water after all these recent shark attacks."

Shark in the water polo pool.

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

Two lady sharks at a bar checking out a handsome shark - 'You know what they say Gloria... the bigger the fin, the bigger the fun!'

"When I retire, I'm thinking of down-sizing to a pond."

'Yuck! Those generic brand surf boards really don't go well with surfer.'

Turtle Hat

'It looks fishy to me.'

'Oh good, the fish are biting!'

'Now that guy is really obtuse. . . and I'm not talking about the angle of the triangle of his fin.'

Hopkins!?!

'Yeah, I know, but don't worry, I've scared the living daylights out of him: He'll never spear-fish again...'

"Sorry Bob, but it looks like your Pilot Fish was collateral damage in the feeding frenzy..."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

Local Knowledge

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Bite out of fishing pier.

'You lifted your head.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Ice fisher.

"River well stocked this year."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Man fishing with large bait

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Reverse psychology

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."