Snake-haired Siren T-Shirts

'They're for stiff necks - take two, and avoid skulking around in drafty places!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'He wants to hear the siren voices of the consultants.'

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

'Please repeat, your last transmission was garbled.'

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

Snake Dress-Up

Obedience School.

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'Let her go, Mary! She was probably just kidding about your leaping ability.'

Snakeboarding.

Another episode of History Revealed!

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

It was a bumper crop of rodents that year, and by Autumn even Sam was sick of the taste of fur.

"I was cornered, but then I saw it was Tim, the snake catcher, so I knew I was safe: he would just catch me and release me back here later..."

'I'd like to return this snake. It's suffering from reptile dysfunction.'

A man dreams of a snake

'We're never going to lure them onto the rocks with you looking like that.'

"Me, I work with a professional snake catcher: he drops me into people's backyards at night and waits for the call in the morning to come and catch me again..."

'Come back lads, it's 'armless.'

'He used to be happy just gradually appearing out of a basket.'

In an effort to lure a younger generation of sailors the sirens start using autotune.

"Honestly, no one wants to tread on you."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Danger! Snake heaven.

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'