Snake-haired Siren T-Shirts

'They're for stiff necks - take two, and avoid skulking around in drafty places!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'He wants to hear the siren voices of the consultants.'

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

'Please repeat, your last transmission was garbled.'

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

Snake Dress-Up

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

Obedience School.

'Let her go, Mary! She was probably just kidding about your leaping ability.'

Snake pulls prank posing for photo

Another episode of History Revealed!

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

Snakeboarding.

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

"Me, I work with a professional snake catcher: he drops me into people's backyards at night and waits for the call in the morning to come and catch me again..."

'I'd like to return this snake. It's suffering from reptile dysfunction.'

"Honestly, no one wants to tread on you."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Danger! Snake heaven.

"I was cornered, but then I saw it was Tim, the snake catcher, so I knew I was safe: he would just catch me and release me back here later..."

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

'We're never going to lure them onto the rocks with you looking like that.'

'He used to be happy just gradually appearing out of a basket.'

It was a bumper crop of rodents that year, and by Autumn even Sam was sick of the taste of fur.

'Come back lads, it's 'armless.'

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."