Snail Society T-Shirts

"I don't do windows."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Slug Bait- snails love it

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Snail Racing

Local food for local consumption

"I've invested in property..."

'Do you mind!!?'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Snail Pattern Balding.

Snail Man

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'Stress'

Snail Coach

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

Snail Mail

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

'I'm sorry, but just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship right now.'

'The escargots are underdone.'

Snail crossing

Snail trap

'Well, actually my first big break was a slither-on part in 'one was flown into the cuckoo's nest'.'

Repossessions