Snail Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'We object to the term 'snail mail'.'

'We're living together.'

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

"It must be one of these mobile homes!"

"Urgent, you say? OK, meet you at the patio in two days."

"Looks like on of those 'Staycationers' in his motor home."

Egyptian snail...

"Before I was reincarnated I was a mailman!"

Igloo snail.

Gastropod Wedding Showers,

'Giddyup!'

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

'Are you still homeless?'

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"She's fast."

'That is so uncool. Everyone knows that you wipe off your slime when you're done with the machine.'

I'm thinking of taking the next step and becoming a snail...what mortgages have you got to offer?

Snail Handshake

How Snails Are Born

"Sorry to pull you over, but do you realize how fast you weren't going?"

"You shouldn't hold a sneeze in like that."

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

The Zoo.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Slug Bait- snails love it

Snail Racing

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Local food for local consumption

'Do you mind!!?'

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Snail Man