Snail Lovers T-Shirts

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

Snail

'Get busy Bob!! Jenkins is heading this way with a salt-shaker!!'

'I'll tell you what you can't teach- speed and quickness.'

'Psst! Kid, wanna buy some rocks?'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Slug Bait- snails love it

Local food for local consumption

Snail Racing

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'Do you mind!!?'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Ewww

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Snail Man

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

Congratulations! When are you due?

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Snail Coach

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

'Stress'

Snail Mail

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

'I'm sorry, but just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship right now.'

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."