Snail Objectionist T-Shirts

'Anywhere but France.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Local food for local consumption

Snail Racing

Slug Bait- snails love it

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Do you mind!!?'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Ewww

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

Snail Man

Snail Pattern Balding.

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'Stress'

Congratulations! When are you due?

"You're right, I can totally see my lung."

Snail Coach

Snail Mail

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

'I'm sorry, but just don't think I can handle a long distance relationship right now.'

Snail crossing

'Yes. I'm from India. . . How did you guess?'

'The escargots are underdone.'