Snack Kings Pillows

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Hungry child

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Bad for you but to die for

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Love is when you watch television together.

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'