Smuggler Gifts

'I think we've just found the 'big cheese' in the notorious jewellery smuggling ring, Bert!'

"Nope. Nothing to declare."

My parrot died.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'That was fun!'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Everything's gone up."

Hair Traffic control.

"You go ahead and sleep, girl. I’m sure Philip Roth won’t be offended."

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"Looks like someone found a warm spot."

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'No cheating'

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Fashion Mistake.

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

Executive sitting behind desk with one box labelled 'Bid' and the other box labelled 'Ask'.

"I have this nagging feeling we've forgotten something..."

Discount Shopping.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

At last! We've found their elusive burial grounds!

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

Garage Sales Anonymous