Smoking Satire Fan Gifts

'There's a ban on dying from smoking-related illnesses in this hospital.'

Angels smoke outside the Pearly Gates

"So call the smoke police."

"He only smokes one cigarette a day now."

Smoking Snail

'You know, he's right - we don't have lungs.'

"...I haven't managed to light one yet!"

ROMEO & JULIET-THE CIGARETTE BREAK

'Which dog is named 'BOGART'?'

'Old smokey'

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

"I'm sorry that Ted ever taught him to smoke. It's costing us a fortune!"

Never ask, Thor for a light.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

What's normal?

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

How am I abducting?

On the brink.