Smoking Satire Appreciator Gifts

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

"And then one day I thought - 'what the hell?!'. . . I'm endangered anyway."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"Steamed vegetables."

'Oh Hi!'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Russia Money Laundering

The Greek Trampoline

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Amateurs."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Historic Bank Jobs.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."