Smoking Historian Gifts

Museum with smoker in glass box.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

'Excuse me,sir-those wouldn't happen to be your cigarette butts,would they?'

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

2020's Bug Bear

Warning.

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I don't have Alzheimer's."

The Kings Head.

What? Why the heck not?

"I'll keep thinking inside the box as long as they let me smoke in the box."

(When Worlds Collide) (Got a light?)

"I'm trying to quit Twitter."

'Curses on historical perspective.'

Death stocks a cigarette vending machine.

Thanks for Smoking

"Well, if you really want me to eat my vegetables why can't you make them taste like chocolate?"

Mona Wheezer.

"No thanks. I quit smoking 55 pounds ago."

'Allowing prayer time at work...It's a disgrace!'

'Why would anybody want to smoke this stuff?'

'We need a birth ban, too, because every life ends fatally!'

Holbein, Woodbein

Smoker

A pen rests in an ashtray.

"They're pretty strict about smoking here."

'Bad news. THe only way Government will allow us to offset the new graphic images with a smiley face is if it's on a respirator.'