Smoke Signal Decipherer T-Shirts

'As a matter of fact, he quit smoking three years ago.'

Get Your Butt Home

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

No Smoking.

Musical Pipe

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"We've come here to smoke."

Factory Pollution.

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

'It's bad enough they make us smoke, but now we have to smoke outside!'

'You rang?'

Fire at the Bisto Factory

Canadian wildfires

ECO gallery

Warning.

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

Well, I don't care if the cuffs are hurting your wrists, sailor boy! I want to know what this green leafy substance is right now!... And maybe we should check that pipe of yours too, huh?

'You'll have to get off that now. I need to make an important call.'

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

The cost of smoking

'It's either a crank call or some idiot's set his loin cloth on fire.'

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"There's no need to shout!"

"Those stories, plus Andy Rooney."

No You Hang Up

"My squaw's no idea how much these messages cost, she thinks firewood grows on trees."

"You signal back and tell him no, you won't be popping out for a quick pint!"

'Hmm...maybe should sell stock before bottom drop out.'

'Either my wide is making supper of Custer's coming.'

'Doctor Leaping Leopard's prescriptions are always impossible to read!'

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."