Smoke Alarm Enthusiast Gifts

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Merry Christmas.

"I can really taste my food since giving up smoking, so I've started again."

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"It's time to wake up!"

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

'A lab had me smoking cigarettes for months. I'm living off my disability payments. You?'

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

House of Beans - No Smoking.

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Damn sirens go off as soon as anyone goes near them.'

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

Stop Smoking Program.

"Ignore it. Telemarketer."

Vaping cigarette

George can overreact when people criticise his barbecues.

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

"Mr Hudson, could you kindly refrain from smoking in the brain scan machine."

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

'We don't get many takers for the smoking section anymore.'

'It's bad enough they make us smoke, but now we have to smoke outside!'

Nature is not perfect

'You rang?'

"You can't smoke here but you can bring in a dirty old ash tray to smell."

'My doctor's fit note suggested a phased return to work. I'll see you for another smoking break tomorrow.'

Sergei Rachmaninov

Break room - Smoke free, carb free.

Fire at the Bisto Factory

"Bob sacrifices the first burger to the barbecue gods."