Smartphonetographer Gifts

"And here's a photo of the baby salmon."

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Giraffe Selfie

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

The Final Selfie

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

Smartphone Sonogram

Selfie World

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"Congratulations, it looks like half a dozen."

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

"The ultrasound showed it wasn't a pearl, but I am pregnant."

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

Self checkout and 'selfie' check out at a store.

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

'I have all our acorn storage spots geolocated on my smart phone...'

"I couldn't actually see the band but here's a photo of them on the person in front of me's phone."

"We love your desserts...they're the most photogenic in town!"

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

Selfie-Conscious

I'm a Smart-Cow!

"@BabyEthan just endorsed you for the skill: Obstetric Sonography."

"I'm not saying she's obsessed, but every single photo on her phone is of her person." "Awww, that's her napping."

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

'Hi. I'm a new dad. Do you have an app for that?'

'When I say draw, we'll draw!'

"If you phone it in at work, make sure you have unlimited data."

How's My Walking While Texting?