Smartphone Swiper Gifts

Big smart phone and small tablet.

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Menu Dating

"Textin’"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

How would Madam like to pay?

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

Free Little Library

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"Hey—no cheating!"

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

"I knew I should've swiped left."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Women Seeking Men

"I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry."

Check out my new e-reader. This thing is sleek, and fast. Aha! What? How can you say you don't like books> This is just a digital book device. So you like reading after all? Reading? What do you use it for? Downloading books I buy on impulse, looking at the first few pages, moving on. So, so, so sad and true.

Amateurs de vin...

"I'm not saying she's obsessed, but every single photo on her phone is of her person." "Awww, that's her napping."

"He was that needy, he actually asked me on a second date."

"You can't put that phone down, can you?"

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

Just then, Colin went off-line. . .

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

We're looking for a few greedy people.

Mobiles and Procrastination

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'Got to go...just been lobbed.'