Smartphone Sensation Gifts

"I still maintain an online presence."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

The First Fire Stick

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Wolf Karaoke

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Karataoke

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

Doughnut Making

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

All the apps hidden within a phone

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

Modern Life Blues

Runner going through hurdles.

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

Casting Director

Ventriloquist Audition

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

Runner's High, Runner's Low

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! She was great! I hear she's so sought-after by musical theater productions that she can make them work around her schedule! So in other words, "Operettas are standing by!"

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

Footballer playing for time

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

"First gig in a while?"