Smartphone Nerd Gifts

'I embrace diversity. Some of my friends use Androids, some have iPhones, and others use Blackberries.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Digital Fomo!

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

United Church of OMG

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

Modern Life Blues

Halloween Selfie

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

Batman - Face ID

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

Grandad Prodigy

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

"She cries when I give it to her, she cries when I take it away."

"Sorry, no narcissists allowed."

"This is gonna be great!"

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

"Can we wait a few seconds? I'm downloading the Excuse App."

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"Proper I.Q. required"

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"I don't normally take and post photos of my meals, but..."

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"