Smartphone Gambler Pillows

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

Little league world series of poker.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'I don't like to take chances.'

Dog in casino.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Stag poker"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'