Smart Tech Fan Pillows

"His smart tie knows when he's about to say something stupid, so it covers his mouth."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

The First Fire Stick

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

Time Machine Collision

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

Drive in movies.

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

"It appears you have a virus."

"Other than going ahead and back an hour at daylight savings, professor, can your time machine travel to any other period in time?"

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

"First gig in a while?"

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

Smart meter. Smarter meter

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

Milkshake Shortage

"Yeah, your drone is cool. But can you fly it upside down and cut the grass?"

Escalator joust.

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'How many more days until we let them know it's just a joke?'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'