Smart Parenting Tactics T-Shirts

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

Grounded

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"Ah...here they are!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

The modern generation!

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Toilet Training

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'He's my personal potty trainer.'