Smart Parenting Tactics Pillows

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Grounded

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Ah...here they are!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

The modern generation!

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

Toilet Training

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"