Parenting Strategists Pillows

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"This ought to keep the kids busy for a while."

"They can't see us if we don't move."

'Why should I pick up all this stuff? You bought it!'

'Don't ask for anything.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

'Mouthbrooding certainly saves on childcare...'

Grounded

"We're hoping he gets into Harvard, but drops out before graduating to become a technology billionaire."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Ah...here they are!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

The modern generation!

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."