Small Town Romantic T-Shirts

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

Centerville.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"Recess does things to a man."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"I always knew you'd come back."

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Love in Boom

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"The thing I like about New York, Claudia, is you."

Tenafly International Film Festival

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

The pen is mightier than the sward.

Shepherd

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

' Well..She did it to me again.'

"I couldn't find parking in the city, so I moved home, got back with my high-school girlfriend, had a baby, and got a great deal on a new car."

Rural Cityscape

Sheep

"Sometimes I come up here and think about the great meals I've eaten."

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

The cattle grid, the bane of cow and supermodel alike!

Brown cow

...and I see the catering is sorted.

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.

Hadleyville Has-Beens

You have reached your destination... Shat Nav

It was so quiet in town the residents took to taking chairs to the corner so they could watch the traffic lights change.

She was his star, and he followed her career closely.

"You're really crazy about that girl, aren't you, boy."